There’s something about service that teaches you what you
need to know about yourself. It does, in
effect, hold up a mirror to your shortcomings.
Marianne Williamson calls relationships the “laboratory of the Holy
Spirit,” meaning, I think, that we can only advance spiritually in relationship
with other people; that sitting around thinking lofty thoughts is all well and
good, but will in no way further our growth as individuals.
I have had a wonderful opportunity for growth in service. The main things I learned are:
1 1. Being
kind is always a good idea. Dealing with people who are not part of your project can make or break you. What is “business
as usual” in their lives is large-scale crises in the lives of most, if not all,
of the people who call them. This leads
me to
2 2. What
is unimportant to me is a point of crisis for others. Empathy goes a long way in professional
relationships, and, although I can provide reason, I know that pathos always trumps logos in the paper/rock/scissors game of
proofs. Most of the time, honoring their
dilemmas, listening to them, murmuring words of encouragement are all that is
needed.
3 3. It's called “service” for a reason. You’re
serving your constituents. Having a title does not make you their boss.
a. Their
needs and interests take precedence. If
they coincide with your own, it’s a happy accident.
b. If
you need affirmation, call your mom or your bff – you should not expect it from
those you serve. You’re just doing your
job. If they notice, it’s icing on the
proverbial cake. Expect your cake
unfrosted.
None of these ideas were new information. Sometimes I need to learn the same things
over and over again until I understand them and can embody them. While this
sentiment is certainly not original with me, it summarizes my experience: At
the end of the day, people won’t remember what you did. They’ll remember how you made them feel. I’d like to believe I did or do both, but that’s
their place, not mine, to determine.
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